By Wonsuh Song
Walk through Tokyo these days and it’s hard not to notice the influx of foreign visitors. Alongside tourists, more foreigners are working and studying in the city than ever before. As such, the role of service staff who interact with foreigners has become increasingly important. But with that, uncomfortable and even disrespectful situations are also becoming more visible.
One such case is the use of casual Japanese (tameguchi) toward foreigners. This is not a trivial matter of tone—it’s a fundamental violation of etiquette in Japan, especially in customer service settings. And yet, we see it repeatedly: service staff casually addressing foreigners in a way they would never speak to Japanese customers.
Not long ago, I had such an experience myself. I was dining with a friend, speaking Korean, and we placed our order via the tablet on the table. When a staff member came over, I addressed them politely in Japanese. But his responses were all in casual Japanese. At first, I thought it might’ve been a slip—but it continued. It was clear: this wasn’t a language issue. It was a perception issue.
There’s an underlying bias at work—whether conscious or not. “They probably won’t understand anyway,” or “No need to treat them like Japanese customers.” Especially troubling is that such treatment is disproportionately directed toward Asian foreigners. While white foreigners are often addressed respectfully, those who appear Asian are spoken to more casually. This double standard is an uncomfortable truth still embedded in parts of Japanese society.
What’s worse is that this doesn’t just happen in restaurants. It occurs in government offices, hospitals, and major retailers—places where professionalism should be a given. That makes it not just an individual problem, but a systemic one.
So what should you do when it happens? In my case, I calmly said, “Please refrain from using casual speech with customers.” The staff immediately apologized, and another person took over. The key is to speak up clearly and firmly when needed.
If you don’t speak Japanese at all, it may be difficult. But if you do understand enough, it’s important to say, “That’s a bit inappropriate, isn’t it?” This isn’t about personal feelings—it’s about setting a standard of respect for foreigners.
The same goes for the workplace. In Japan, age doesn’t always guarantee respectful language. But when younger coworkers casually speak to foreign colleagues simply because they are non-Japanese or on contract, it becomes a problem. In such cases, a gentle reminder—“In my culture, that kind of tone can be seen as disrespectful”—can go a long way.
This column has one simple message: Foreigners also deserve respect. And that respect begins with language.
If you ever find yourself in such a situation in Japan, don’t hesitate to speak up. You’ll be standing up for yourself—and creating space for others to be treated with dignity as well. And this experience should also prompt us to reflect on our own behavior.
In Korea, do we sometimes speak casually to foreigners without realizing it? Do we assume it’s okay to drop polite speech because the language barrier is there?
Respect knows no borders—and it starts with the little gestures we choose to make each day.
Wonsuh Song (Ph.D.)
Full-time Lecturer, Shumei University / NKNGO Forum Representative
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